Crap
The coon's computer is being a bitch. Not fully recognizing his proc (it's showing up as a 1.somethingGHz AMD Athlon instead of the Athlon XP 2800+). I'm thinking flashing the BIOS may fix it, or it could be a bad fan causing heat issues, or, worst case scenario, the electricity in his house is dirty and that's messing with the system (it would fit with the TV frying last weekend).