Random RP on MSN.

[aethwolf]

This is myself and rolan_snyder playing around after me not being able to reach the Eberron page on Wizards' site.

Aeth says:
*attacks the server with a +3 bastard sword*
Working-Class Wizard says:
Your sword slides between The Server's ribs for (1d10) damage.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The Server staggers, but doesn't fall. It raises its claws and slashes at you, grazing your skin for 0 damage.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Bastard Sword- 1d10
Aeth says:
I do 1 damage.
Aeth says:
I slash at the server again...getting a 14 on the attack roll.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Your blade glances off its chitinous shell.
Aeth says:
DAMN YOU IMMOBILE DEVICE!
Working-Class Wizard says:
The Server squeals. The pitch slowly raises until the sound becomes a thousand needles piercing your eardrums.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Make a fort save.
Aeth says:
Damn! A 4.
Working-Class Wizard says:
You're temporarily deafened.
Aeth says:
WOO! TEMPORARY IMMUNE TO THE SCREACH!
Aeth says:
I attempt to intimidate the server. I get a 9.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The server does nothing. Something hits your back with the force of a freight train.
Working-Class Wizard says:
You fall to the ground. The dreaded Lag Monster stands astride you.
Working-Class Wizard says:
What do you do?
Aeth says:
Swing my sword at the monter's loins. I get an 11.
Aeth says:
(Not the sword Jamie'd assume I swung.)
Working-Class Wizard says:
Your blade slices through Lag's steel codpiece, drawing a fountain of blood.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Lag grabs its crouch and doubles to the ground.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The Server begins hovering.
Aeth says:
I attempt to intimidate the server again...I get a 20.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Deafness lifted.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The Server shudders.
Working-Class Wizard says:
It hovers quickly away.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Leaving the mythic Door to Eberron unguarded.
Aeth says:
*attempts to enter the door*
Working-Class Wizard says:
The golden double doors swing inward, reavealing a cavern filled with black gemstones and illuminated by violet fungi.
Aeth says:
I consume one of the fungi.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Make a wisdom check.
Aeth says:
19
Working-Class Wizard says:
You realize that eating phosphorescent fungi could be hazardous to your health. You still may eat it if you wish, though.
Aeth says:
I eat twice as much as I had originally planned.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Make a fort save.
Aeth says:
2
Working-Class Wizard says:
You contract Explosive Diarrheia.
Aeth says:
Explosive? Describe that.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Geysers of shit spew from your anus.
Aeth says:
I run back to the Lag Beast and hose down his wound with the geyser.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The Lag Beast appears to have died. Your geyser doesn't affect it.
Aeth says:
I spray the geyser down its throat to ensure that it is dead.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Your intestines have depleted their fuel. You cannot complete this action.
Aeth says:
I go back and eat some of the gems.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Most of the gems are the the size of your head or larger. Eating them would be impossible.
Aeth says:
I eat some of the dirt.
Working-Class Wizard says:
*The gems are the the size of your head or larger. Eating them would be impossible.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The dirt is actually fine charcoal. It has no taste.
Aeth says:
Does it refill my intestines?
Working-Class Wizard says:
Yes. But it simultaneously cures your illness.
Aeth says:
I eat more of the fungi.
Working-Class Wizard says:
The fungi spray spores into your eyes, blinding you. The spores swarm so thick you feel as though you're drowning.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Fort save vs. death.
Aeth says:
13
Working-Class Wizard says:
Your bowels give. You fall to your knees, and the light fades from your eyes.
Working-Class Wizard says:
Goblins find your corpse and craft wineskins and book covers from you